An ode to the once great game of our generation
It’s been over two years now since some evil human pulled the plug on Club Penguin, killing off one of the noughties most iconic online multiplayer games.
Although it had been over a decade since I logged into my penguin account to give my orange penguin, Alfred Fun, the opportunity to feed his possibly deceased puffles and school some twelvie at mancala, adult me would have jumped right back in, had I known the game’s decline in popularity would lead to its traumatic discontinuation.
I could’ve been there for Alfred when things got tough, when climate change was clearly melting his igloo, and during his final hours of life. But alas, I was too late… I will be more vigilant next time.
I still remember the absolute high of coming home from school, logging into MSN Messenger to ask my online friends if they were keen to hit the Club with me. We’d go ice fishing, catch some waves, and race sleds, just so we could make that coin.
Every afternoon we’d play mini games, harass stranger’s penguins, and go on Elite Penguin Force missions to win medals and probably some free hat that every other player was wearing. I could sit and play that game all damn day, and tried to, that is until my mother would inevitably come home from work, rousing on me because I yet again forgot to take the washing off the line.
And then there was the classic membership business model where to totally pimp out your igloo, purchase an illegal amount of multi-coloured puffles, or purchase dope af outfits for your penguin, you had to cough up some real coin.
For an avid Club Penguin player, this was an incredibly frustrating and often emotionally challenging part of playing the game. Especially when Club Penguin Members always obnoxiously flaunted their wealth IN. YOUR. FACE.
So my easily manipulated dumb ass of course went bargaining with my mother – attempting to trade more chores and my pocket money for a Club Penguin Membership, something I am told less than 10% of players actually had (note: fell for).
After overcoming great adversity and winning the great Club Penguin debate of 2006 with my parents, Alfred Fun was living the high life – over crowded igloo parties, tacky décor just because you could afford it, 28 puffles and counting. I was the envy of all 2 of my friends.
But despite all of the games, activities, and quests Club Penguin had to offer, everyone’s favourite CP past time was pushing the incredibly strict child safety boundaries, to see how quickly you could be banned from the sight. An achievement which I was able to unlock a total of two times thanks to my highly uncreative and definitely not bad ass 11 year old self.
So with this aching heart and crave for some good childhood nostalgia, although I am unable to head to my job at the coffee shop to count beans, or beat some punk at a penguin dance contest, at least I have the memes and the memories of what was a true gaming icon of the naughties.
So long Club Penguin, you may have been cancelled by Disney, but you have not been forgotten.
– Courtie
UPDATE: My partner found a website, and you better sit down for this, that has recreated the classic Club Penguin website – MINI GAMES AND ALL!
Enjoy it here: https://cprewritten.net